where do you start something like this? I in no way choose to do this to put anyone down, say that i am better than anyone, or try to change anything. I simply post this have to have an outlet. This is just a way to put snapshots of my life on paper.
I wake up in the middle of the night to a crying baby, yes we have two, i don't care what time it is. I am only thinking get your butt out of bed, go get the bottle, climb those stairs, silence the crying baby, put the bottle in the warmer. I finally get the baby changed, go get the warmed bottle and sit in a chair and think about life. It is this odd moment in the middle of the night that i have the most clarity i have ever known. The house is silent the only sounds i hear are my family sleeping. No cell phone, no thoughts of work, no tv, no BLM or presidential talk. It is just me and my child. These moments don't last long, the babies always eat fast and i put him or her back in their beds and stumble back to mine. I always fall back asleep fast, raising twins and a four year old and working full time makes me very tired. The mornings always seem to come quicker and quicker. We wake up early usually to the sound of one or both babies crying. My wife and I always comment that we should really start getting up earlier so that we can “get things done before the kids get up”. This hardly ever happens, lets face it, we are both tired.
We start the days getting the babies up changed and fed. If we are lucky we can do this one baby at a time, but, that doesn't always happen. Coffee must be made first thing!! After feeding the babies, its time to get big sister out of bed. She is such an amazing little girl and we both love her with all of our hearts. But to be honest, she wears us out just as much as the twins!! Being our first child, she got all of our attention. We were the standard over protective first child parents who became our daughters best friend/maid/butler :) This practice backfired a little bit when we got two more babies that need our attention.
One or the other of us gets Riayn her breakfast, which always consists of peanut butter and Jelly. Don't ask us how we started this trend, its not our ideal breakfast for her, but, its better than eating fast food every morning so we choose our battles. Today, Riayn gets to go to day care, which, as much as we love having her it is great for everyone involved. If she goes to day care a few days a week to play with her friends and it also helps out with Audra and I so that we can divide and concur (well, sometimes) with the twins. Riayn would never know it, but, i love the days when i get to drive her to day care. Its not much to anyone but me, but, i love that 10-15 minute (sometimes 30-45 if we get caught by a train) drive, sometimes we talk (she is always full of questions), sometimes we don't say anything at all. Its just the quality time that we get to spend together. I know years from now that these car rides will be the stuff i remember.
We start the days getting the babies up changed and fed. If we are lucky we can do this one baby at a time, but, that doesn't always happen. Coffee must be made first thing!! After feeding the babies, its time to get big sister out of bed. She is such an amazing little girl and we both love her with all of our hearts. But to be honest, she wears us out just as much as the twins!! Being our first child, she got all of our attention. We were the standard over protective first child parents who became our daughters best friend/maid/butler :) This practice backfired a little bit when we got two more babies that need our attention.
One or the other of us gets Riayn her breakfast, which always consists of peanut butter and Jelly. Don't ask us how we started this trend, its not our ideal breakfast for her, but, its better than eating fast food every morning so we choose our battles. Today, Riayn gets to go to day care, which, as much as we love having her it is great for everyone involved. If she goes to day care a few days a week to play with her friends and it also helps out with Audra and I so that we can divide and concur (well, sometimes) with the twins. Riayn would never know it, but, i love the days when i get to drive her to day care. Its not much to anyone but me, but, i love that 10-15 minute (sometimes 30-45 if we get caught by a train) drive, sometimes we talk (she is always full of questions), sometimes we don't say anything at all. Its just the quality time that we get to spend together. I know years from now that these car rides will be the stuff i remember.
Its summer now and Audra is in her final weeks for maternity leave. We had the twins on Mothers day. She has done an unbelievable job with the twins so far. I was able to take off the first week after their birth. I really wish i could have taken more time, unfortunately, thats just the way things are. Ever since their birth our life has been a complete roller coaster. As prepared as we thought we would be for twins after already having one baby, we had absolutely no idea what lay in store for us. I have tried different ways to describe caring for twins to people and the best description i can give is this. Having twins is literally having two babies at the exact time that both may or may no need your full attention at the same time, weather it be 2:00 PM screaming because they are tired or 2:00 AM screaming because they are hungry. We have had some very trying times, a few arguments mostly caused by stress, but so far we have made it. I am really divided about Audra returning to work. On one hand i absolutely love that the best care giver our children could ever have is with them day in and day out. On the other hand i can see her going stir crazy. She has always been a super busy and hard working person, and being stuck in the house with two babies and four year old is enough to drive anyone batty!!
As a Dad my job is by no means as hard as being the mother, and i will never pretend it is. But, being a dad in this situation is very trying. I want to be there all the time and help with everything that i can possibly do to make Audra’s life easier. Most of the time i am unable to do this because of work. Nothing upsets me more than getting a text that says “I am Having a terrible day” Or “I really need help” . Most days i am constantly thinking “I wonder how its going at home.” I try to work as hard as possible to make the days go fast, which is a double edged sword. On one hand it works out great time goes by fast and I leave work and get home to help. But on the other hand when you work hard all shift you end up getting worn out and you know as soon as you get home you are going to be greeted by someone who is if not equally tired probably more so, and wants/needs your help the moment you walk through the door. I constantly tell myself that every day is a blessing and that there are people in this world who would do anything to be in the position we are in.
We have had a great day today. Both Babies have slept and ate well, not all days are like this. Having twins is HARD. We have been extremely bless with lots of help from Friends, Family, and our Church. They Say "It Takes a Village", and after having twins I totally believe this saying to be true. Sometimes when i am thinking about things in the middle of the night I wonder how is it even possible to raise more than twins (Triplets, Quads, Etc, Etc) ? But, People do it ,and, i guess on those bad days thats what gets me through it. I can’t speak for what gets Audra through the day, She is an exceptional mother and I can not ever in my wildest dreams imagine doing this without her. So with this day ending and the sun setting over the corn fields of Illinois i close my eyes and get ready to start a new beginning tomorrow!
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